Toronto Hockey league sued by kids cut from team

Have you ever been picked last for a team? Have you ever been part of a team that lost and came in second, or third? Have you ever tried out for a sports team and not made the cut? Have any of these past events in your life caused you to curl up in a fetal position and give up on life?
An article in the Toronto Star today by Lois Katchman gives details of a lawsuit filed by two parents; Vito Valela and David Longo on behalf of their sons Christopher and Daniel against the Greater Toronto Hockey League (GTHL) along with a slew of other defendants.
They are suing each defendant for $25,000 because their sons were cut during tryouts in April by the Avalanche Minor Sports Club midget junior A team.
The statement of claim by David Longo reads, “Their direct actions have caused irreparable psychological damage to Daniel Longo’s self esteem as an impressionable teenager and demoralized Daniel as an athlete and team hockey player with his peers. The conduct by all defendants destroyed the dignity of my son, whom in good conscience gave his team nothing but his best efforts.”
Vito Valela’s statement of claim, “When Christopher was advised of his termination by my wife and I, he vowed never to play the game he loved since childhood. And, moreover, this misguided group of defendants demoralized my wife and I, whom had gone well beyond the call of duty as parents in support of the Toronto Avalanche hockey team for two seasons.” It further reads “Thank the good Lord that my son had the courage and strength to compose himself in his demoralized state.”
I bring this story up for two reasons; obviously the absurdity of this lawsuit goes to show how misguided parents can be nowadays about organized sports. With the dream that their precious bundle of joy will someday sit next to them on NHL draft day waiting for their name to be called, parents can’t handle setbacks in their career such as being cut from a team.
The other reason I bring this up is because we are raising a new generation of children that have a belief that the world is perfect and no harm should ever come to them.
This “Gen-Y” or “Snowflake” generation as it has been referred to by some doesn’t win or lose in competition, everyone gets a participation award. If the child receives a failing grade in school, it wasn’t the child’s fault; the teacher didn’t explain things well enough. Children are not failed or “held back” in school anymore because it will undermine their social skills, schools have to move their illiterate minds to the next grade or face the threat of a lawsuit.
Heck, watching the news this weekend with the G20 in Toronto, a whole bunch of supposedly innocent people were rounded up by police and sent to the detention centre. Listen to their interviews, they all have the same prevailing theme; I wasn’t doing anything wrong, the conditions of the centre were horrible, they fed us stale bread and we had poor washroom facilities.
When was the last time that you heard a jail to be equivalent to the Ritz Carlton Hotel? And as for the ‘I wasn’t doing anything wrong’ defense, they were in the way of the police; they shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
This whole generation can be blamed on well meaning parents. All the parenting books warn of raising a child with low self esteem and the best way to avoid such dangers is to shovel constant praise on them. You’ve seen the “helicopter parents” in the park who are never more than 3 feet from their child. They praise them for everything little thing “Oh, you are the best baby in the world because you pooped in your diaper” or “how amazing you are sliding down that 3 foot slide”.
When little Crystal finishes 8th out of 10 in a race, telling her she is the best is lying to her and she knows it. A “good effort” or “better luck next time” is more appropriate. When little Peter cleans his room, a simple “Thank You” should suffice, it does not merit a trip to “Toys-R-Us” as a reward for doing a chore.
Somewhere along the way society lowered its standards to ensure that everyone feels successful and that nobody feels bad when they fail at something. Empty praise and rewards don’t help a child and certainly means less when they actually achieve some greatness.
When I was in school, I didn’t receive an “A” for just showing up to class. My boss has never given me a raise for just doing my job. I sat on the bench most of the game while my teammates played because I wasn’t as good as them. And when I didn’t make my school team the next year, I played the game after school with friends from the team because I loved the sport.
As for the parents of these two hockey players, you have caused more harm than good. You think that they will now not be mocked and ridiculed by their friends? You think that after you lose this frivolous lawsuit that they will be invited to try out anywhere in Toronto or surrounding leagues? You have not taught them properly; “when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade”, “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger”. Instead, what you are teaching them is when you fail at something whine and cry about it, threaten and sue and maybe, just maybe someone will coddle them and let them have their way.
In the end, the world does not work that way. Bad things will happen to them…a lot worse than not making a GTHL hockey team. If you don’t prepare them for how to deal with obstacles, they will never learn to overcome them.